Human Toilet

by Human Toilet

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Ill Crop
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Ill Crop Almost uncomfortably personal New York City scum rock. What happens when punk grows up, gets divorced, and has to pick up the pieces? Favorite track: The Long Con.
John S
John S thumbnail
John S Because Gary is a handsome son of a bitch who is OCCASIONALLY funny on Twitter. Favorite track: Must Love Dogs.
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Strictly limited to 500 copies. When it's gone, it's gone!

    This album was recorded on analog tape. We are proud to offer a gorgeous looking and warm sounding record cut under our direct supervision.

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  • The album was mixed and mastered from the original analog tapes at the incredibly high 24 bit/96 kHz sample rate.

    For advanced listeners we are offering a DVD with the 24/96 files as both Wave and FLAC (much higher FLAC bitrate than what bandcamp offers).

    Please note: In order to enjoy this version please ensure your soundcard supports 24 bit audio output.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Human Toilet via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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released January 20, 2012

Gary Suarez - Vocals
Seth Diamond - Guitar and Bass
Cran - Drums
Produced by Seth Diamond
Recorded live in the studio on 16 track analog tape by Mark Ospovat at Emandee Studios Brooklyn
Mixed by Seth Diamond at Domestic Bliss Studios Brooklyn
Mastered by Steve Fallone at Sterling Sound Manhattan

All songs written by Human Toilet. Published by noamjamski Music (ASCAP)
Poet Laureate - Gary Suarez

Front Cover art by David Liebe Hart
Human Toilet logo by Graham Reznick
Layout and design by Alan Robert

Black Thirteen Recording Company B13-006

Copyright 2012 Black Thirteen Recording Company All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.



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Human Toilet Brooklyn, New York

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Track Name: Human Toilet
You have every right,
But rights ain't enough
When you're grasping at airs
We can't possibly touch.

Human toilet is not a lifestyle choice.

You weaken me
Your songs are betrayals
I want you to fail
I want you to fail
I wanted you to fail
I wanted you to fail

Human toilet is not a lifestyle choice.
Track Name: Must Love Dogs
I met her on a dating site,
A little older, but extra nice.
You know, that sorta desperate kind?
But look at me; do you think I mind?

Must love dogs.

I met her on a dating site.
You know it works most every time.
Now I might be a lot of things
But I'm not that kinda guy.

Must love dogs.

When I got to back to her house there was filth just strewn about.
And I wanted intimacy but that dog wouldn't let us be.
No! No! Get that mutt away from me!
Now you go over there and you stay over there.
You're a bad dog.
Track Name: The Flirt
Don't tempt me, you wont like it.
It's a bad kind of attention.
I don't have the wherewithal
To make good judgment calls.
Yeah, I've been a bad boy.
Yeah, I've made mistakes.
A pitbull in suburban sprawl,
Sure I'll play along.

My fantasies revolve around convenience

From across the parking lot,
You gave a clever smile.
Now you're all I think of,
Always on my mind.
I blend into the backdrop
As you decimate your life.
Those fumbling little fingers
They'll never get it right.
Track Name: Low Life
Beat back the priapism
It's time for catechism
Let's subdivide the schism
Come forth and testify
Jesus died and so will I
Stick a needle in a Camel Light
When all else fails for me
God save the monarchy

Ladies and gentlemen, lowlifes of the food supply
Go on tell all your friends I'm such an awful guy

I hate to see you cry
Turn around and spread your thighs
I came to see what goes inside
What made that fucker try
It's been a thrill for me
Down and out in NYC
Dear Penthouse Magazine
I'm fuckin' king tonight

Yeah baby I'm the pits
But I don't give a shit
I'm such an awful guy
Track Name: Unsubscribe
After hours I sit and pout
Among empty cubicles.
'How did I end up like this?
'How did I lose control?'
There have been a few close calls.
Some nights were just obscene.
Sex is best when unprotected,
If you know what I mean.

Unsubscribe me

Underwhelmed and undermined,
The future makes me worry.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But I'll call my attorney.
I'm not trying to cause alarm;
It's easy to lose sight.
Cashing out while lashing out
Some fucking diatribe.

Unsubscribe me
Track Name: Fashion Week
Hey, it's Fashion Week!
And you're still nobody.
How does it feel to be so accomplished?
Is your life falling apart?
Well, me, I'm doing fine
Let's get together soon for some espresso.

These little lies we tell
They'll send us straight to hell
But it sure beats the truth.
We try hard to save face
But it's just cosmetic waste
And it sure beats the truth.

Hey, it's Fashion Week!
And I was wondering,
Do you ever think of me when you're alone?
Is this some fantasy
Of how things could've been?
Revenge sounds sugar sweet, but who has the energy?
Track Name: Giuliani Time
Your consolation prize is a brick in the face.
You owe some money, man, your life gets strange.
Monkey-fisted gentlemen with paperweights
And you're looking for that clean getaway

Too big to fail
Too sly to lie
When I see your ass, it's Guiliani Time!
Too hot to trot
No, you can't hide
When I see your ass, it's Guiliani Time!

You look so unsurprised, completely self-assured
You've got my money, man, and you don't wanna pay.
Let me show you how it's done around the way
We know where you work, eat, sleep, shit, and play.
Track Name: The Long Con
I'll smile for the camera
Moderate my alcohol
I'll wear this Oxford shirt
Until it adopts my character flaws.
I'll be the most supportive man
You'll ever know.
But soon you'll realize
You deserve much more.

I'm working the long con
And I know how this all plays out
We'll fall in love then it'll fall to pieces
And leave a bad taste in your mouth

Outside of my comfort zone,
The boundaries unclear
When the fairer sex's involved
Landmines are everywhere.
I'm handicapped by hindsight.
I'll know I'll never change.
But just look so beautiful
And I'm just so strange.